How To Groom A Moustache
Your moustache says a lot about you. Well-kept, perfectly scultped moustaches are a sign of sophistication. Bushier but shaped moustaches (particularly when paired with a nice beard) say you're a fun guy but possess the ability to be serious if needed. A wild, scruffy 'tache - even if worn with an equally dechevelled beard - says you're unconcerned with appearance, formality or commitment.
Get your moustache right and it's an asset. A projection of your own positive qualities. But get it wrong and it screams AVOID ME. This guide is your key to the former.
Step 1: pick your shape.
If you're also sporting a full beard, your options are somewhat limited. You can either keep it subtle and allow your 'tache to flow into the fullness of your beard or curl it upwards into a handlebar. This looks particularly good if your beard is greying.
If your moustache is a lone entity on an otherwise shaved face, your options open up somewhat. If you're feeling particularly avant-garde, you could opt for the famous Toothbrush Moustache. It's a classic. Small, well kept and easily recognised. Initially popularised by the inimitable Charlie Chaplin. Its image has, of course, been mired by its most famous wearer, Adolf Hitler. It's worth noting that hitler didn't even particularly like his moustache. He was ordered to shape it that way in his early infantry career. Clearly, this look will bring some unwanted attention but you wouldn't be the only person on a mission to bring it back. Most men (if we're being honest) have shaved it into shape in front of the bathroom mirror before promptly removing it. The commedian Richard Herring took this notion one step further and stuck with the look for an entire year.
Other options include the Horseshoe Moustache. A deep-southern American classic. It's like a goatee with the bottom shaved off. It's a difficult style to pull off without looking ridiculous. The only exception to that might be Paul Teutel Sr from the tv show Orange County Choppers. He does look ridiculous, but you'd be too scared to point it out.
You could also go for the skinny Pencil Moustache (don't do that) or just a standard (sometimes called the Chevron) 'tache. This one requires minimum effort to maintain; and it's the typical moustache that you see most days on the street.
Step 2: pick your tools.
You could attempt to keep a moustache in shape with any of these accessories: kitchen scissors, nail clippers, pube trimmers or hair clippers. You could use any of those things. But you absolutely shouldn't.
Keeping a moustache in great shape requires the correct tools for the job. Grab this Moustache Grooming Kit. It's only £18.00 and it'll be your secret weapon in the battle for a damn fine 'tache. It's got exactly the right scissors, a handy comb and a pot of premium, natural moustache wax.
Step 3: comb in into shape.
Use the comb in your grooming kit to encourage your moustache into the style you've chosen. If the chosen look usually involves a twist of wax, don't use it yet. This process might be made easier by wetting the hair first.
Step 4: trim the stragglers.
Now that your moustache is in the shape you're looking to perfect, you can go about trimming away any strands that don't conform. Take this steady. The last thing you want ot to accidentally cit a big tuft out of your expertly grown foliage. You should also avoud cutting into your nose or lip. It tends to sting.
Step 5: show off to the world.
If a man grows a moustache, but nobody sees it, did he grow a moustache? Get out there and show the world your manly 'tache. Don't forget to post on Instagram with rhe hashtag #menssociety.